I am instead trying (from modified Google suggestion adding the proper '(x86)' back to the path to the file, which initially caused an error in finding the 0arpmany executable):
"C:\Program Files (x86)\Common Files\Microsoft Shared\OFFICE16\Oarpmany.exe" /removereleaseinpatch "{90160000-0012-0000-1000-0000000FF1CE}" "{27882596-A8ED-4382-9C71-6CD2DD19F732}" "1033" "0"
Since msiexec route(s) gave errors:

Whereas the 0arpmany.exe option appears to bring up a window that appears to want to actually uninstall something.

Will test and see if it works in my case. BRB.
Dang, after hitting uninstall, it pops up an unknown error message:

After some back and forth with Google AI, I finally got it to give me this command to find the actual uninstall string particular to our machine/install/version from PowerShell (Run as Admin):
Get-ItemProperty "HKLM:\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Uninstall*", "HKLM:\SOFTWARE\Wow6432Node\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Uninstall*" | Where-Object { $_.DisplayName -like "KB5002914" } | Format-List DisplayName, UninstallString
Which output the string specific I guess to our particular volume license of Office Standard 2016 (your string may differ from ours, so presumably run the query in PowerShell (Run as Admin) and get the actual uninstaller string for your copy/version, this is ours, but YYMV if you have a slightly different version of Office Standard/Pro 2016/2019, etc.?):
"C:\Program Files (x86)\Common Files\Microsoft Shared\OFFICE16\Oarpmany.exe" /removereleaseinpatch "{90160000-006E-0409-0000-0000000FF1CE}" "{9C029E7A-4A4A-409D-B5C6-F40BAA71A090}" "1033" "0"
Let's see whether with the custom output string/command PowerShell gave me actually works...
Throwing that string back over into the elevated Command Prompt (Run as Admin), rather than PowerShell:

Hey, progress!
And it allegedly uninstalled:

Running old Windows Show/Hide Updates utility:
https://download.microsoft.com/download/f/2/2/f22d5fdb-59cd-4275-8c95-1be17bf70b21/wushowhide.diagcab


Click "Hide Updates" and now ... THERE'S the bugger! Tick the KB5002914 (AKA, "Security Update for Microsoft Excel") to tell it to hide it, and click "Next".



Problem fixed! (In theory, now KB5002914 will no longer attempt to auto-reinstall until/unless you run the show/hide utility again to "unhide" the update and then let Windows see the update into order to apply some future hotfix or whatever. Or just leave it hidden and out of sight, out of mind until they release a new hotfix that includes both the security update plus the patch in one package, for anyone who hid it? Assuming they do that?)
Just for giggles and to be sure, never hurts to then restart the machine to save the update/fix or whatnot. ^_^
After update, it appears I'm able to still / once again click & drag to fill, copy & paste, etc.

Didn't see KB5002914 in windows update queue. Ran update queue, and doesn't look like it reinstalled. So I assume it's successfully hidden from Windows Update via the tool. So it looks like it's successfully resolved & hidden.
Oof, digging out that tick was a slog. But...
Hope this helps folks find their correct uninstall string/path (via PowerShell Admin), uninstall (via Command Prompt Admin), and hide the stupid broken update (via old deprecated/unsupported Show/Hide Updates tool [still works, still useful, why did they get rid of this wunderkind app??]) until Microsoft gets off their duffs and issues a hotfix for what they broke? ^_^
Regards,
~Michael